"Birds, Birds, Birds!"

Update : FUNimation has since wised up to the fact that an entire episode of their TV show was on youtube. They have understandably removed it, and thus this post is not nearly as funny as it was. Or maybe it is even funnier to read my descriptions without seeing the show. Decide for yourselves!

My name is Jimmy Kudo, high school detective. But to the world I'm Conan Edogawa, an alias I was forced to assume after an experimental drug reverted me back to childhood. Now I fight crime with Richard Moore and his daughter Rachel (whom I sort of dated when I was Jimmy Kudo, high school detective) armed with the knowledge that one truth prevails.

You think I'm making this up? I couldn't if I tried. This is the story line of Case Closed, the most ridiculous, bizarre, and my favorite, anime. Here are the facts: Meitantei Conan, the manga, began in 1994 and new issues are still being published today. As of right now, there have been 68 volumes! It is one of the longest running manga series. Then it was made into an anime called Case Closed, in English anyway, that is on its 18th season in Japan! So, because it is such an entertainment powerhouse, they decided let's make it a live drama, too! 

Look at the actor that plays little Conan, the kid with the glasses in the middle. What a cutie!  So guess how successful this franchise is in America? In the U.S., the anime was on the air for only one year and was cancelled because of low ratings, because it's crazy, makes no sense, and takes place in a bizarro world where children solve heinous murders. But as I said before, it is currently my favorite anime. So let's watch it together, and discuss how crazy hilarious it is! We will watch an episode I saw last night via netflix called "For the Birds."

To keep on track, let's follow a checklist of things to discuss.

1. Yes, that intro song is English.
2.  Yes, Richard Moore chastises Conan for adroitly and succintly answering his stupid question. This happens basically anytime Conan says something with wisdom beyond his age. Also, how old do you think he is? It's hard to say because the animators draw him with varying heights. Sometimes he must be about 6 months old because he is only as tall as everyone's knee. Other times he is as tall as everyone's hip, so that would be like 3-4 years old? This is part of the mystery that makes the show so lovable. See at 2:30 how mind-blowingly short he is?!
3. 2:39 Enter frightening old man with crossbow. Isn't that some stellar voice acting? It just gets better!
4. 2:59 If a 6 month old - 4 year old asked you if your windows were made of reinforced glass, the same stuff they make airplane windows out of, how would you react? You probably wouldn't ask, "Do you like cranes?"
5. 4:33 I guess that blue box is supposed to tell us who each person is and how old they are. It's important because they are one of the suspects in the murder. How do we know there will be a murder? Because apparently, everyday of this miserable family's life someone they are with is murdered. If you were a 6 month old - 4 year old, and someone was murdered every day, wherever you went, I think you would develop some serious psychological problems. Oh, but I'm forgetting that he is actually a high school student (stuck in an infant's body) so he must be mature enough to handle all these homicides. Even so, at the very least he would start suspecting Richard or Rachel. That would be an interesting episode!
6. 5:00 Oh man, it is all so bizarre. The family dynamics, the turtledove in the chimney, the horrible voice acting.
7.  5:59 "Birds, Birds, Birds!" bwahahaha. What is that thing behind him? A crane clock? A crane portrait? A mirror reflecting the stuffed crane? Weird!
8. 7:50 I'm just pointing an unloaded crossbow at my dad's back! It's not a big deal, chief!
9. 8:25 Couldn't they have given the 6-month old a tshirt?! There is snow on the ground!

Ok, end of part 1. Who do you think is going to be murdered? Who did it? How did they do it? I hope you have been paying attention to all the clues! Reinforced glass, stuffed crane, sauna, ungrateful children, grumpy old man, bad artist brother, crossbows. 

In this clip, we see Conan notice a bunch of strange things in the murder scene. But really all I wanted to show you is what happens at 5:37. That one line "What do you think now, Dad? Next time it won't be that stuffed bird! *Gasp*" inspired this whole post, and had me cry-laughing for 5 minutes. I realize now that there is no way I can communicate how hilarious I think this is. *sigh* I'm trying to figure out how to make this an internet meme. I'll think more about this...Suggestions are welcome. Ok, I was wrong, there was more I wanted to show you.

1. 6:27 Who let the baby on the roof?! Also, why was he even in the same room with that murdered man?
2. 7:25 So Conan's modus operandi is tranquilizing the famous detective, getting out his bow tie and talking into it which makes him sound like the detective, and then solving the murder, so everyone will think Richard actually solved it. Because apparently a 4 year old solving a murder is just too much for people to handle.  What a great show. 

Conan finally reveals to us the key to solving the murder: the sketch of the cranes that didn't make sense, the scratch on the reinforced glass, the perfectly lined up shards of broken window by that hole in the floor, and the block of wood in the fireplace. Obviously! I bet you all have figured out the mystery now! Right? No, there is no way you did. Because the conclusion to which Conan comes is so illogical and so outlandish that I can't imagine any murderer actually planning such a tenuous scheme. 

If you care enough to see who the murderer is and how he or she did it, you can watch the third part of the episode. Trust me though, it makes no sense. Here's the spoiler: a crossbow was set up in the fireplace, and a string was tied to it which one could pull from the top of the chimney to release the arrow. This is really how the grumpy old man was killed, but the murderer must have been counting on the son threatening his dad in such a hilarious way, because he wanted the son to think that he had killed the dad, so he would turn himself in and then not be able to inherit the money. Oh man, I love this show. 

I'm serious about making an internet meme from this episode. If you don't know what a meme is, do some research, and then report back to me with your ideas.